Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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