i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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