It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
