You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I need a burrito and a hug.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
