I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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