Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
