You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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