Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just tell him i said nine months
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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