Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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