Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
