my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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