Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i think we sleep fucked last night...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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