I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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