yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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