When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
