I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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