I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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