I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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