Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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