thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
