Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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