so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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