On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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