I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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