We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
