I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
