I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
