Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize