that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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