You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
