im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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