I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
