She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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