God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize