CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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