i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
