Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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