What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
