I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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