so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
