Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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