I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
