a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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