Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
