Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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