Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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