so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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