Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
