I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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