He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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