Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
