I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
