I seem to have left my pride at pride
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
