Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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