YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
