Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize