Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
