Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
