Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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