i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
