naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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